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-Ernest Hemingway

Deathbed

February 4, 2009

i wish to extend my condolences to Ana and her family, her brother passed away yesterday due to complications on his kidney. He was still so young…

This made me think, that anytime soon, i’ll be dying as well…and no one knows when. What if my time’s gonne be up soon?

Then… I’d be on my gear, climb mount everest, and when i reach the top, I’m gonna scream that i’m the king of the world until i run out of voice.

I’d spend all my money and savings and explore that the world is indeed round.

I’d go cliff diving until my fear of heights and fear of the ocean leave me.

I’m gonna walk around the city and adopt all the stray kittens i’d bump into.

I’d be fearless, carefree, and reckless. The heck with them, i’m gonna die soon anyway.

I’d tell everyone that i  love him/her and that i’m thankful that i had a chance to impart a moment in his/her lifetime.

I’m gonna eat up all the pride inside me and, I’ll tell him that i love him and he’s the perfect guy I’m picturing myself to be with. But before i tell him how he really means to me, i’m gonna stalk around him and find out why his mystique fascinates me.

But then… I’m not.

It would be a different story today and tomorrow. I’d be the same boring and coward person I am. Because i know that the time keeps ticking, and the sun keeps rising.

On the other hand, i wish I’d die lying on my deathbed, no, i wish i’d die facing the sunset, sitting on the shore line of a beach, dying because of cancer. In this way, I would know that the angel of death is coming. And I’d embrace him and be ready to leave the world, and prepare myself for a new search outside the physical life.

Posted by lizafield at 3:01 pm | permalink

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