Falling Slowly

I thought I’ve passed through it. I thought it had already ended. Yet, this sadness is still there…just hiding in the pit of my soul.

I can’t think of anything to make me feel cheerless. I have everything I wished for, at least those I’ve wished when I was still a kid. Yet those dreams grow and grow until it could lead me to nowhere.

Everything’s a repetition. Everything’s seems the same. I feel I like I’m going nowhere, but just trailing on the same circle.

Sometimes, I take pleasure on the miseries of other people’s lives, because somehow, this makes me think I’m happy with my life. Yet, it’s just a veil to my own frustrations.

I feel happy when I’m with my friends. I share experiences with them and I laugh loudly at their jokes. I take time to learn something new and I often read books, just so as to make me look a bit smarter. I give my focus to my work and give my dedication to my career. I go home every weekend to spend time with my family and my pets.

But still, at the end of the day… when everything seems to stop, and when there’s nothing left to do, sadness comes to visit me.

I keep on telling that life is so lovely. I keep on repeating that I’m happy.

Everyone may have a bit of sadness on his life, though he may not want to admit this to himself.

People are afraid to go on a different road, where he may be criticized.

We have the tendency to go the same with everyone else. Because we are scared that others won’t like us.

Then, maybe…perhaps I should be asking myself questions that others won’t dare to ask, things that others won’t dare to do.

I’ll leave them all here, for this moment…

until I find the courage…